Once Upon A Little Farm

A Glimpse Into Our Country Life

Update on Mama with the Blues

Well, here I am, only a month since I posted my first blog about feeling depressed and trapped.  Oh how much has changed in a month!  I decided that there was no way I could let myself keep feeling so poorly, let alone possibly sink further into the dark.  Here’s what I’ve been up to:

~Seeking the Lord’s guidance more and more.  I pray for patience with my children. I pray for a realistic, yet optimistic outlook on my life.   I pray for calm – to not let little things get to me.  I pray for ambition – that I might complete at least the tasks I need to to keep our home from the brink of disaster.  I pray for my headaches to pass soon when I get them.  I pray for wisdom as I seek to make our home a more stress-free dwelling.  I pray for my relationship with my children – that I would take more time for them and do things they enjoy.  I pray for my relationship with my husband – that we would make time with each other more of a priority.   Basically, I’ve been taking God up on His offer to take every tiny little concern to Him – nothing is too small or insignificant for our loving Lord.  There have been many tears in my sessions with Him as I seek forgiveness for my lack of patience and love with my children and my husband and I ask Him to make me more of the mom and wife that I need to be.

~ I have been taking a B Vitamin Complex for the past 3 weeks.  I have been taking SAM-e for the past 2 weeks.  SAM-e                                (S-adenosylmethionine) is a naturally occurring molecule produced by your body.  It helps to maintain healthy emotions. It has clinical studies behind it for its ability to improve mood.

~Throwing out and giving away.  I have taken at least 10 bags of trash out of our house and filled a few boxes with items for our barn sale in May which benefits our church.

~Scrubbing things that haven’t been scrubbed since we moved to the upstairs of the farmhouse!!! While it takes awhile to do it and not everyone would notice, I sure feel like I’ve been doing something to improve our home.

~Taking more time for me.  1 kid napping and 1 kid watching a movie means this mama can have an afternoon shower once in awhile instead of at 10 pm.  I’ve also done a little bit of stamping and a lot of baking, which I enjoy…especially when I have a clear counter to do it on!

~Living INTENTIONALLY!!! This is a big one.  My life had become routine.  I did what I had to do.  I was on auto-pilot for dishes(when I felt like it), laundry (sometimes), going to work, making supper, and that was about it.  In order to have relationships, however, you must be INTENTIONAL.  I intentionally organize “Family Fun Nights” now — activities that my husband and kids and I do together about 1 evening a week; such as play-doh, movie and popcorn, a craft, etc.  I intentionally plan at-home date nights for my husband and I.  So far these have included movies, playing the Wii, and making homemade fried ice cream.  The two of us are growing so much closer together now.   I intentionally talk to a good friend on the phone now!  While it may be only every other week or so, it’s a lot more than once every 6 months to a year!  Intentionally reading my Bible and seeking God’s wisdom for my life.

~Oh….remember my aversion to having people over?  It has been just about a year since I have invited anyone over, but on Thursday we will be having friends and their 2 children over for a kid friendly family oriented Valentine’s Day dinner!  Going out on a limb here!

I feel so much better!!! Do I still have moments of being overwhelmed and lacking patience? Sure do.  Is my house spotless? Far from it, but it is getting better. Do I have better relationships with my hubby, kids, and friends? Sure do.  I don’t dread plans or tasks or socializing anymore.  I can handle my normal days again without feeling overwhelmed.  God is good!

A HUGE thank you to my husband, Aaron, for putting up with me and never giving up on me, and for always encouraging me and helping me keep our home from the brink of disaster.  God has blessed me beyond belief with a loving and supportive husband!!  Thank you to my friend Elizabeth for being with me via text and phone every day of this past month!!! Your support has been invaluable! Thank you to my sister(in-law), Jean, for her support and encouragement and for listening to anything and everything and rejoicing with me at the happy times!  Thank you to my boss and friend, Debbie, for your advice, talks, and support.  Our little “therapy” sessions have been such a help to me.  Thank you to my college buddie, Sarah Hoover, for telling me about SAM-e. I believe it is helping a lot! Thank you to everyone else who has sent me a private message of concern and encouragement.  I sincerely appreciate everyone’s care and “advice”.  It was uplifting to find there a lot of folks who completely understand where I’m coming from.  Thank you to God, for His never-ending love, forgiveness, and for each new day He gives to me!

Life is good!

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